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Shirley Dow Stekel was born in San Francisco in 1936 to Alma and Verge Dow. At the end of World War II, the Dow family relocated to a farm near the town of Rogue River, Oregon.

Shirley came to Oregon State College in 1954 with an interest in studying engineering, but switched to physics soon after as her major. Among the courses Shirley took as an undergraduate was the first computer programming class offered at Oregon State College. Graduating with a bachelor's degree in physics in 1958, Shirley continued her studies at OSC and earned a master's degree in 1961. Her thesis, "Neutron total cross sections using the optical model of the nucleus," can be accessed in ScholarsArchive.

Shirley began her teaching career at Yakima Valley Junior College in Yakima, Washington, where she taught from 1960 until 1962. After a brief part-time teaching appointment at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan where she pursued additional graduate work in physics instruction, Shirley accepted a position as an assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin, Whitewater (UWW) in 1963. She worked at UWW until retiring in 2000. Shirley placed a strong emphasis in her teaching on using hands-on and activity-oriented techniques to approach science instruction, particularly in classes geared toward prospective elementary school educators. In recognition of Shirley's long career in instruction, she was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Wisconsin section of the American Association of Physics Teachers.

Shirley met Frank Stekel in 1965 when he joined the UWW Physics Department as an instructor. They married in 1967 and together raised three children: Sharon, Sandra, and Wayne. Shirley died in 2018.